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AMBUSH



Joined: 04 Jul 2002
Posts: 45
Location: ONT
THIS SUCKS!  Reply with quote  

Im trying to convince my friend to drive down to RI for the show on Saturday. He wont. Hes says its not worth it. I says hes an idiot. Now Im in the worst fucking mood possible because Im gonna miss out!! someone tell me a joke.......
Post Thu Jul 11, 2002 10:10 am
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MessiahCarey



Joined: 01 Jul 2002
Posts: 10924
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There's a priest doing confessional at a local church, and all of a sudden he needs to go to the bathroom really bad. He peeks outside the booth to find a long line of sinners waiting to squeel about their wrongdoings.

So, our esteemed Father Rather (Dan's cousin) steps out the back door of the confessional and slinks his way over to an alter boy quietly.

"Would you mind running the confessional for a moment while I go to the bathroom?"

"Sure...I don't know what to do though."

"It's easy, for each sin there is an adequate penance. There's a chart on the wall right next to you in the booth."

"That sounds easy," the kid says and sneaks into the booth.

A woman walks in and says, "Forgive me father, for I have sinned. I had sex with a man that was not my husband last night."

The boy looks at the chart and finds 'adultery'.

"Five Hail Mary's and four Our Father's" he tells her.

The next woman walks in.

"I had sex with a man last night."

"Was it your husband?"

"Yes."

"That's not a sin."

"Well...it was anal sex."

So the boy starts browsing the list for 'anal sex' and he can't find it anywhere. Panicking, he runs out and finds another alter boy.

"Quickly, what does Father Rather give for anal sex?"

"Two cookies and milk, why?"
Post Thu Jul 11, 2002 12:31 pm
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Wallet Inspector



Joined: 02 Jul 2002
Posts: 1022
Location: Weymouth, MA
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2 guys are having breakfast at a restaurant.
the waitress comes over and takes their orders.
SHe has HUGE breasts
after she walks away guy #1 says "wow she's really nice, she must get huge tits"
guy #2 "you mean tips right?"
#1 "yeah that's what I said"
#2 "No you said tits"
#1 "yeah well whatever you know what I meant"
#2 "that was a Freudian slip"
#1 "a WHAT?"
#2 "a Freudian slip. you know when you are saying one thing and thinking another and what you're thinking comes out in what you say."
#1 " OOOOH yeeeahh. that happened to me this morning. my wife made me breakfast and I meant to say "honey you burnt the toast" but I said "Bitch you ruined my life."
Post Thu Jul 11, 2002 12:59 pm
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pony boy



Joined: 30 Jun 2002
Posts: 118
Location: www.eyetoeyesite.com
hey  Reply with quote  

do what i do. rent a car
Post Thu Jul 11, 2002 1:01 pm
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tricia d



Joined: 01 Jul 2002
Posts: 35
Location: NC
its corny time...  Reply with quote  

what animal should you never play a game with?









a cheetah!
Post Thu Jul 11, 2002 1:31 pm
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dense



Joined: 30 Jun 2002
Posts: 911
Location: england
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what do you call a french guy wearing sandals?
phillipe phollope
Post Thu Jul 11, 2002 2:19 pm
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AMBUSH



Joined: 04 Jul 2002
Posts: 45
Location: ONT
hahaha  Reply with quote  

thanks guys, but.....Im still depressed.
Post Thu Jul 11, 2002 2:26 pm
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Sage Francis
Self Fighteous


Joined: 30 Jun 2002
Posts: 21601
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your friend sucks worse than these jokes.
Post Thu Jul 11, 2002 3:15 pm
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mr self distrukt



Joined: 01 Jul 2002
Posts: 1249
Location: a crew called self
if the dove is the bird of peace, what's the bird of love?  Reply with quote  

the swallow.

start walking now and you just might arrive in time.
Post Thu Jul 11, 2002 3:54 pm
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